How to Give Feedback That Actually Lands (Instead of Blowing Up in Your Face)

How to Give Feedback That Actually Lands (Instead of Blowing Up in Your Face)

As an AE firm principal, you’ve probably had your fair share of feedback sessions go sideways. You deliver what you think is constructive input, only to see your direct report shut down, get defensive, or worse—walk away without changing a thing. Giving feedback that actually sticks is an art form, and mastering it can be the difference between a team that grows and improves versus one that stagnates or festers with quiet resentment.

Here’s how to deliver feedback so that your people actually hear it, take it the right way, and—most importantly—do something about it.

1. Ditch the “Feedback Sandwich”

Let’s get this one out of the way: The tired old “feedback sandwich” (say something nice, deliver the real feedback, end with something nice) doesn’t work. People see it coming a mile away, and they tune out the compliments because they know the axe is about to drop. Worse, they might dismiss the real feedback as just a formality you had to squeeze between the niceties.

What not to do:

“Jim, I really appreciate how hard you’re working. But your reports keep missing key project details, and clients are getting frustrated. But overall, I think you’re doing a great job.”

Why this approach fails:

Jim hears the first compliment, braces for the criticism, and then latches onto the final praise as the real takeaway. Nothing changes.

What to do instead:

Get straight to the point with clarity and respect. Example:

“Jim, I need to talk about your project reports. I’ve noticed key details are missing, and that’s causing frustration for clients. I want to help you improve this so we avoid issues down the road. Let’s go through an example together.”

No fluff, no soft landing—just direct, constructive conversation.

2. Don’t Make It Personal (Even if It Feels Personal)

When performance issues arise, it’s easy to sound like you’re making a character judgment instead of addressing behavior. The moment feedback feels like a personal attack, walls go up and learning stops…Read more